All three brands deliver frozen sugar water in delicious 1 oz. hits.  They only have 15 calories each, so you could eat like a the whole 100-ct box and still not be full.  Despite an identical (and easily copied) product, the fine folks at Otter Pops have done a superior job marketing, and find themselves as the Kleenex or Band-Aid of the freezer pop industry.

I mean, with flavors like Alexander the Grape, Little Orphan Orange, and Sir Isaac Lime, how can you go wrong?

But here’s the amazing thing: one company owns all 3 brands.  Otter Pops, Mr. Freeze, and Frootee Ice are all owned by Jel Sert.  And it doesn’t stop there; Jel Sert also owns Pop-Ice, Fla-Vor-Ice, Wyler’s Italian Ice, and manufactures 6 other freezer pop brands under license.  With this all-star portfolio, they are the undisputed world leader in freezer pops.

I don’t know if there’s even another company competing in this space.  I think Jel Sert has a monopoly.  If antitrust regulators cared about a competitive environment freezer pops (and if they didn’t cost pennies apiece), they could make a strong case against Jel Sert.  The company has been on an aggressive buying spree, systematically acquiring rival brands throughout their history.  You could paint the picture they set out on a mission to dominate the industry and couldn’t be stopped.

The question I have is why?  Why have a portfolio of so many brands offering the same product?  It’s one thing if the freezer pops were somehow differentiated, but for the most part, they’re identical.  I believe Jel Sert could achieve some economies of scale by consolidating their lineup under the Otter Pop name.  I mean how many Frootee Ice customers are really going to boycott now that their frozen sugar water is being called something different?

So I burned my hand last week and was using the Frootee Ices on the wound.  Once they melted a little they had to be eaten  And thus the inspiration for this post.

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• “You’re going to like the way you look.  I guarantee it.” — Men’s Wearhouse
• “If we can’t guarantee it, we won’t sell it.” — Les Schwab
• The “Lowest price or it’s free guarantee.” — Mattress Discounters
• “We’re going to win Sunday.  I guarantee it.” — Joe Namath

Famous warranties:

• “America’s Best Warranty.” — Hyundai cars
• “30 Year Warranty.” — Benjamin Moore paint
• “Lifetime Warranty.” — Craftsman tools

In general, guarantees deal with replacing the entire product if it becomes unsatisfactory within a given timeframe, where warranties deal with repairing it or replacing certain components.

Guarantees are simple and can be somewhat subjective.  For example, a “30-day satisfaction guarantee.”  It can be hard for the company to prove your satisfaction.

Warranties, on the other hand, are more complex legal documents with responsibilities and obligations spelled out for both the seller and the buyer.  Yes, your car may come with a 10 year warranty, but if you go 9 years without an oil change, you’ve effectively voided that warranty.

From the customer standpoint, guarantees are usually better than warranties, but for some purchases you’ll get both.  Perhaps a store will offer some sort of 30-day satisfaction guarantee, and after that the manufacturer warranty will kick in.

Both guarantees and warranties are good selling tools, but shouldn’t be relied on too heavily.  A couple years ago Chrysler offered lifetime powertrain warranties on their cars with surprisingly few restrictions, but it did little to improve their sales.  Since most customers don’t buy a product expecting to be dissatisfied with it or expecting it to fail, the guarantee or warranty can sometimes be an afterthought.  It’s a must-have to show a company stands behind their product, but in most cases, it won’t be the most important feature.

I don’t know how much legal weight guarantees carry in advertising.  I got the idea for this post after hearing three different mattress stores promoting their 4th of July weekend sales, all “guaranteeing” the lowest prices.  At least two of them are lying.  Wonder how that sort of thing gets enforced.

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Wrong.  Samuel Adams beer was founded in 1984.  Clever marketing though.

Turns out it’s a familiar strategy for companies to play to our fond recollections of our founding fathers.

• John Hancock Insurance – founded in 1862, with no connection to John Hancock.
• The Paul Revere Corporation – founded in 1895, with no connection to Paul Revere.
• Ben Franklin stores – founded in 1877, with no connection to Ben Franklin.
• Ben Franklin Technology Partners – founded in the 1980s
• Franklin Templeton Investments – founded in 1947
• Jefferson Insurance Company – founded in 2007
• Nathan Hale Gardens – founded 1991
• Lincoln (car company) – founded in 1917

There are probably a lot more examples.  Patronize these companies and get in the American spirit!

I did find one company still in operation, Revere Copper Products, that was founded by Mr. Revere himself way back in 1801.  And apparently there is a George Washington Coffee company, founded by a George C. Washington, a distant relative of the first president who wanted to capitalize on the famous name.  And why not?  Not like he’s using it anymore.

In other news, I was really surprised during my time in Costa Rica to see the Jorge Washington elementary school in the small town of San Ramon.  I don’t believe Washington ever visited Costa Rica.  The world’s first international celebrity?

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I didn’t know what “whiteboard overview” meant, but I was pleased to discover it meant a short book with extra-large font and lots of pictures.  Neumeier argues that a company’s biggest competitor isn’t their rival from across town, but rather the enormous amount of clutter in the marketplace.  The only way to stand out when everyone else is zigging is to zag.

If Seth Godin’s Purple Cow is the textbook on “radical differentiation,” Zag is the executive summary.

For me, these were some of the key takeaways:

• “Hit ‘em where they ain’t.”  Find new markets, or “white space,” to carve out a niche in a saturated environment.
• “Find a parade and get in front of it.”  Take advantage of trends.
• “Be the only _____.”  Do what no one else does.

I thought it was a very cool read and got some valuable ideas for the biz.  Definitely worthwhile for anyone in a marketing role or for those who own their own business.

FTC Disclosure: If you buy Zag through the above link, Amazon will pay me 4% of the purchase price.

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The title comes with a clever bit of irony from Godin, a master marketer himself.  He goes on to explain that “All Marketers are Storytellers” would have been more accurate, but far less marketable.

The book shares some interesting examples of good and bad marketing.  In politics, Godin argues that John Kerry lost the 2004 election because of his failure to tell a consistent story, despite running against a president with the lowest approval ratings of any winning incumbent.  When a strong marketer (like Obama) should have won easily, Kerry failed.

He goes on to talk about the marketing success of SUVs in the 1990s and early 2000s.  Car companies told a story about ruggedness, safety, and independence that struck a chord with millions of customers who suddenly found their minivans obsolete.

Here is Godin’s checklist for successful marketers:

1. Your marketing must tell a consistent story.  That means having product, price, placement, and promotion all aligned.
2. Your marketing must resonate with a certain worldview of your customers.
3. If your product or service is unique and the message powerful, customers will naturally tell others about it.  Godin calls this idea a Purple Cow, which is the subject of another of his books.

I read the 2005 version, but would be interested in seeing what’s been added for the 2009 version.  It’s pretty short (under 200 pages), and worthwhile if you’re in a marketing or sales role.  But for everyone else, I don’t think you’ll get much out of it.

FTC Disclosure: If you buy All Marketers are Liars through the above link, Amazon will pay me 4% of the purchase price.

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Say your company sells Shih Tzu t-shirts.  Among 500 million users, I bet you can find a few that have joined Shih Tzu-related groups or fan clubs, posted pictures of their Shih Tzus, or discussed their Shih Tzu with friends.  And multiply that example to the niche-iest of niche markets, and you know there wi’ll still be people on facebook to advertise to.  It’s incredible.

Now I know nothing about their advertising rates or return on investment or secrets to success, but they’re probably not charging enough for this remarkable service.

Let’s take a look at some of the ads I’ve been shown the past few weeks and how well (or poorly) they’re targeted.

My profile says “engaged” so I get a lot of wedding-related ads.  These are two of the best.  Do non-millionaire, non-celebrity people get prenups?  I never knew.  Or perhaps this company is just trying to expand their clientele.

I also love the Groomsmen bobbleheads.  What an awesome business!  And gotta love the coupon code thrown in to seal the deal.

Data Used: “Engaged” relationship status, California location, interest in baseball?

Good thing this guy can set me straight about who the fake real estate gurus are.  That’s honestly a big concern of mine.  Is that a Bentley or a Chrysler 300?  Why put a picture of a car instead of a picture of a house or something else “real-estate” related?

And the Oakland Bucket List.  I get enough email already, and don’t really want to drive to Oakland.  Is that a famous haunted house in Oakland, or just some stock photo?

Data Used: California (East Bay) location, interest in business / real estate.

There’s an FBI degree?  Is it like an MBA?  I am intrigued by the SWAT-team looking guys in the picture, but I’m definitely not cut out for that kind of work.

I’ve never played Mafia Wars.  And this ad doesn’t really make me want to either.  Call me lame, but virtually “robbing, stealing, and putting contracts out on my friends” doesn’t seem like that much fun.  And aren’t robbing and stealing the same thing?  There’s probably some subtle Mafia difference I’m not aware of.

Data Used:  Non-foreign sounding name (probably have to be a US Citizen to qualify for the FBI), no job info listed (I might be interested in a career change and or wasting time with Mafia Wars), how I like 24.

Here we go: A’s Beerfest!  I would totally go to this if I wasn’t going to be Seattle this weekend.

And more wedding stuff.  Not sure what this dinner is all about.  They win some prize for over-use of adjectives though.  Exclusive, Sunset, Evening, Perfect, Dream.  Sounds romantic.  Alas, our venue has already been chosen.

Data Used: Relationship status, proximity to Oakland, love of beer.

Get Wedding Registry advice from the people who know you best — your friends at Target.  What’s interesting about this ad is there is no mention of Target, only their familiar bullseye logo.  In fact, I could be making a false assumption that Club Wedd has any relation to Target.

Is it required to register?  Haven’t done that yet.

I’m kind of curious why I was served this ad for Official Boy Scout Knives.  Some time ago I had joined some Eagle Scout group but I don’t see that on my profile anymore.  And they should know by my age I’m too old to be in scouts.  Or maybe they know I’m too old to be in scouts, but figure I might still appreciate a Sarge Quality Knife.  Unfortunately don’t get to do much woodcarving or whittling these days.

Data Used: Relationship status, possible Eagle scout affiliation.

A paid research study on beer?  Where do I sign up!  Unfortunately I was unable to attend due to a scheduling conflict.

The ad for VA Home Loans is poorly targeted.  I’ve never served in the military, and am already (unfortunately) a homeowner.  Not sure why I got this one.

Data Used: Proximity to San Francisco, love of beer.

Bored.  They got that right at least.  But still not bored enough to play Mafia Wars.

I get surprisingly few political ads, given the primary elections we have coming up.  I learned an interesting thing about Prop 16 though.  It is entirely sponsored and funded by PG&E, to the tune of $30 million so far.  Methinks if a near-monopoly utility company finds it worthwhile to spend that kind of money, and brand their campaign the “Taxpayers Right to Vote,” there may be something sinister and self-interested going on.

Data Used:  California location, and Boredom… how’d they know?  Multiple log-ins in a certain window of time?

I also “like” how the ads all come with their own “Like” button.  Whether you like an ad or not doesn’t matter, it’s whether it works.  The ad that is the most liked might not be the most effective, and vice versa.

Start paying attention to the ads you see in Facebook and I think you’ll be entertained.

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These days Sprite and the other beverage companies have gotten smarter.  Now they’ll only show you a cryptic code under the cap and you have to go to their website to enter the code and see if you won.  But before they’ll let you enter the code, you’ll be required to submit your name, demographic, and contact info.

It sucks for customers because it’s another hoop to jump through, but great for the soda companies because they can collect all this data for marketing and analysis, where before they were getting nothing.  My guess is the companies are giving away far fewer free bottles, since only a small percentage of customers will take the time to go online and check their code, and collecting info for remarketing.  Definitely a win-win for them and a lose-lose for soda drinkers.

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For example, you could drink a case of Red Bull every day, and it will never “give you wings” like the commercials promise.  If an energy drink can claim a physiological impossibility as their tagline, why can’t other companies?

Instead, other companies are required to list all the possible negative side effects of their product.  Drug ads are the worst.  I swear there was one during 24 this week where the side effects included (in rare cases) death.  Reminds me of a Jeff Foxworthy bit:

There are so many drugs out there. They advertise this prescription stuff, and I swear, nine times out of ten, the side-effects are fifty times worse than what the thing cures. It’s like, “Try new Fluorofluor. For itchy, watery eyes, it’s Fluorofluor. Side effects may include: nausea, vomiting, water weight gain, lower back pain, receding hairline, eczema, seporiasoriasis, itching, chafing clothing, liver spots, blood clots, ringworm, excessive body odor, uneven tire wear, pyorrhea, gonorrhea, diarrhea, halitosis, scoliosis, loss of bladder control, hammertoe, the shanks, low sperm count, warped floors, cluttered drawers, hunchback, heart attack, low resale value on your home… feline leukemia, athlete’s foot, head lice, clubfoot, MS, MD, VD, fleas, anxiety, sleeplessness, drowsiness, poor gas mileage, tooth decay, parvo, warts, unibrow, lazy eye, fruit flies, chest pains, clogged drains, hemorrhoids, dry heaving and sexual dysfunction.” I’m watching it, going, “You know what? I’ll just have itchy, watery eyes…”

I think it all comes down to a little disclaimer you’ll find on 5 Hour Energy, homeopathic medicines, and other herbal remedies:

” * These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.”

On the one hand you have the brutally honest, over-tested, cover-your-ass, federally regulated ad copy.  And on the other, no independent 3rd party testing, which allows the marketing department far more freedom.  “Guys, it’s cool, we can say whatever we want as long as we include the asterisk.”

It’s big business.

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The enigma of Netflix pop-ups has inspired numerous forum posts, including one on the official Netflix site, an eHow article, and even a twitter account.  Some people are amazingly bitter over something that takes a split second to close.

But does anyone really ever see a Netflix pop-up and think, “well now that you mention it, I think I’ll stop whatever I was doing and sign up for Netflix?”  It seems crazy but enough people must sign-up to make it worthwhile.

It reminds me of a comedy show we saw where the comedian talked about how the used car lots are always tying balloons to the cars.  Who drives past, sees the balloons, and says I must have that car?  But it must work, or else why would they do it?

I bet Netflix or their ad agency could license whatever technology they’re using to bypass the pop-up blockers and make way more than renting DVDs.

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Now, the new Target ibuprofen bottle bears no resemblance to Advil.

From the b-school perspective, this is an attempt to create brand equity and customer loyalty in the Target “Up & Up” brand, rather than just mooch of the brand equity of Advil and other “name brands.”  On the one hand, it’s a good long-term play that tells consumers there is inherent value in the Target brand, not just in being a cheaper knock-off, and it allows them to maintain a unified design look throughout the store.

But it’s a risky strategy that could backfire.  If customers don’t take to the new look by even just a small percentage, it could cost millions.  To mitigate their risk, I’m sure Target did plenty of due diligence in market research and A/B testing.

Store brands are big business.  They’re generally more profitable for the retailer than selling the name brands, and companies like Target even employ third party “testers” to make sure their quality is on par with the name brands.  If we start to see some design or color tweaks to the Up & Up packaging, we’ll know they weren’t performing as well as desired.

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