Why is it some companies can blatantly lie in their advertising, and others have to be so brutally honest it scares people away from trying their product?

For example, you could drink a case of Red Bull every day, and it will never “give you wings” like the commercials promise.  If an energy drink can claim a physiological impossibility as their tagline, why can’t other companies?

Instead, other companies are required to list all the possible negative side effects of their product.  Drug ads are the worst.  I swear there was one during 24 this week where the side effects included (in rare cases) death.  Reminds me of a Jeff Foxworthy bit:

There are so many drugs out there. They advertise this prescription stuff, and I swear, nine times out of ten, the side-effects are fifty times worse than what the thing cures. It’s like, “Try new Fluorofluor. For itchy, watery eyes, it’s Fluorofluor. Side effects may include: nausea, vomiting, water weight gain, lower back pain, receding hairline, eczema, seporiasoriasis, itching, chafing clothing, liver spots, blood clots, ringworm, excessive body odor, uneven tire wear, pyorrhea, gonorrhea, diarrhea, halitosis, scoliosis, loss of bladder control, hammertoe, the shanks, low sperm count, warped floors, cluttered drawers, hunchback, heart attack, low resale value on your home… feline leukemia, athlete’s foot, head lice, clubfoot, MS, MD, VD, fleas, anxiety, sleeplessness, drowsiness, poor gas mileage, tooth decay, parvo, warts, unibrow, lazy eye, fruit flies, chest pains, clogged drains, hemorrhoids, dry heaving and sexual dysfunction.” I’m watching it, going, “You know what? I’ll just have itchy, watery eyes…”

I think it all comes down to a little disclaimer you’ll find on 5 Hour Energy, homeopathic medicines, and other herbal remedies:

” * These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.”

On the one hand you have the brutally honest, over-tested, cover-your-ass, federally regulated ad copy.  And on the other, no independent 3rd party testing, which allows the marketing department far more freedom.  “Guys, it’s cool, we can say whatever we want as long as we include the asterisk.”

It’s big business.

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